Waiting for baked potatoes to cook in the Rayburn, typing my blog before bath, then getting ready to go out to a party. We are going with people we know, but will not know the people holding the party. This has happened loads of times to me, being somewhere at midnight with a room full of strangers all wishing each other happy new year. Some of the nicest new year's eve's have been spent in the company of Mr Avrilo, just us clinking a glass seeing in yet another year (it will be 22yrs tonight).
Hopefully there will be a guitar there and an outside fire and a chance to sing, maybe play a few songs, be spontaneous (what songs shall I do?)
This past year has mostly been spent in making our house habitable and cosy. A lot of work and we are so happy here now, heres hoping we can find a way to stay. I hate moving! I spent a whole night painting the front door (inside). It has 4 little portholes as it used to be in a boat and I used a paint brush to paint dusky pink and sea green in the fiddliest of places.
I also experienced the delights of the men 0 pause during the summer and can see what the fuss is all about from the inside! Although I am a grandmother of 3, I still feel the same age as when I was in my 30's. Most of my friends are late 30's, and 40's (including Mr Avrilo). I can't be getting that old as I'm still so immature!
So, any readers still with me, wherever you find yourself when the clock chimes the new year in, (even if you're in bed) congratulate yourself on having got through another year. Whatever state of mind you are in, things change. If things are bad they can only get better, if they are good, well, they can be good again if they get worse. Inspiration is just a word in the dictionary for me at the moment.............

What do you look forward to? It's usually small things for me, watching a dvd, reading, blogging (recent one), having a nice meal,working on a song, meeting up with friends. Early people just needed basic survival, eating, keeping warm, not getting killed. Also people who have been through disasters, earthquakes, war etc. We have it quite easy in this part of the world, our problems quite often self made rather than natural. What is the mind like when not looking forward to something, just enjoying the present?
Must say I feel chuffed at friends acquired so quickly on this blog site, some feel like old friends and some I've yet to get to know (in blogging's own limited way).
In case I don't get time tomorrow here's a hearty HAPPY NEW YEAR-1(tried for smiley face). Go forth and spread good cheer, and as midnight's last chime rings out, you get those hugs and positive affirmations where you can. If you are on your own, well here's a blog toast to you and the news that you're not alone in Blogland. Blogland Blogland, so good they named it twice. I shall now go visiting from the comfort (except for cold feet) of my room.

Just cruising my profile and noticed someone has put 'bong' onto my tag thingy space. Well, thanks, whoever it was as it is quite a nice word. Conjours up images of objects gently crashing in slow motion. Also images of people lying semi recumbant on silken cusions sharing a hookah inside of a bedouin style space. Whoops, imagination running away with me there! Right, back to reading all those blogs as someone has to do it......

Oh boooger! Just lost a post which I didn't save, just previewed. Ah well, gist was that I'm glad to be back and am going for a wander around Blogland to visit my chooms (as that guy from Eurotrash would say). Got a really nice axe for xmas. Filled a dustbin full of kindling already. Also got a mouse (not a live one) without a ball. The old one was like a supermarket trolley, kept pulling to the left. Got a herbal bath mixture which advises not to stay in the bath for longer than 20 minutes! I'm usually just settling in by then. Hope I don't corrode if I soak for longer. So, I trust you all had a good few days off work, eating and watching tv. Bet I missed something really good...ah well. I feel a song about Blogland coming on... Meanwhile, here's an old song I wrote. It's sung in a country and western style.

40 MPH

40 mph is enough for me.
I drive along as happy as can be.
Other cars they pass on by.
They go so fast, I don't know why.
40 mph is enough for me.

Insurance and the road tax are cheaper by far.
In my economical 3 wheeler car.
A little bumpy maybe,
but she gets me from A to B.
40 mph is enough for me.

What with the pollution and the waste.
To drive a greedy car is just bad taste.
If you want to be green,
and help keep the planet clean.
40 mph should be enough.
1993 AH
and so as the stage lights dim on the peroxided singer in her white cowboy boots and tasselled jacket we say goodnight from the Grand Ol' Oprey. Sweet dreams out there......

Got a dvd 'Fantastic Four' out last night as I was on my own and wanted distraction. I realized that when we had a t.v., that whole nights (and sometimes in the day) would go in 'distraction'. Good thing it is too! Too much realism can distract from escaping into fantasy. I got some worries at the mo. and however much I think about them, or try to ignore them, they are going to be there till this situation is sorted. Does that sound familiar to you? I am trying to turn this around so that a 'worry' is no more a thought than any other thought. However..too many worries turn into stress and I just can't be doing with that. I believe I am here to experience:
happiness,
love,
sharing,
helping and being helped,
a bit of suffering (but then getting over it and moving on)
sadness (ditto above about moving on)
bliss
forgiveness

I'm sure there's obvious ones I've missed, but hey, perfection isn't on the list.
A big fat thank you to the replies from yesterday. The cyber support system is up and running....

During my brief blogging career, I have felt nauseatingly positive, and upbeat. Tum tee ta, life is so great etc...Then a bit of hardcore reality hits, BADOOM!!! We got some bad news.Not to do with health, death or accidents but being let down badly by someone going back on their word. This will entail a lot of stress, extra work and worry. I really don't like moaning about people but this takes the biscuit (an undigestive). It has shot to number one slot of things to worry about. However, good things that have come out of this: we still have each other, my friends have been fantastically supportive,and it may turn out to be for the best. One can only hope. Sorry to be cryptic but it's a long story....
On the blackbird front, they've been popping up all over the place. Reading a long blog with many comments from lots of different people then, the last comment from a visitor was something like 'the blackbird song helps to open up the heart',which had nothing to do with the comments before it. What is it with signs and omens? I wrote a song based around a blackbird's call and the universe responds. Lets hope the universe will show a way to keep our nest.

Imagine a photo of the sun shining on the shortest day of the year, at about 9am at Newgrange (in Southern Ireland) a prehistoric monument, an underground ex burial chamber. You are inside and as the sun rises it hits the chamber through a hole in the wall. In the darkness the light illuminates the chamber, climbing slowly like a directed beam sending shivers through you at the awesome engineering feat of these ancient ancestors.
So, it will soon be the shortest day of the year, what changes would you like to see? Here's a song what I wrote.

------------Autumn Lullaby------------------------
Again, again, the trees shed leaves,
of autumn golds on drifting breeze.
Remains of summer's banquet in the air,
memories of sunshine in your hair.

Again, again a time of change,
a time to think, to rearrange.
Season's silent greetings every year,
waiting for winter to reappear.

Darkness closing in at night.
Keeping warm, staying warm.
Looking for heat, looking for light.
Keeping warm staying warm.

Shells of leaves, on the earth.
Signifying, a new rebirth.
Skeleton trees claw upward through wind and sky.
Singing an autumn lullaby.

AH 1992

Just back from a fabulous weekend from a Welsh town on the coast (West). Saturday night were 16 choirs each singing 3 songs, wow! Some powerful stuff, especially deep bass voices. Everything from gospel to classical. We sang 2 songs, Latin type, very rhythmic, and got people swaying in their seats. What a buzz when performing at your best. So, back at the place we were all staying, it was singing till the early hours with a room full of great voices and some known, some unheard songs.
Today was a voice workshop, learning harmonies for about 6 songs (it's a bit of a blur). There were about 60 people there (a lot of the choirs came). We sang a song to welcome the light back after the long winter, building up to the solstice. A beautiful vibe, a candle in the middle and voices pure and true. We sang my new Blackbird song, it went down really well, requests for it on the next cd (sold a few of them too). Anyhoo, on the way home, I put on the radio and they were talking about the song 'Morning has Broken', originally a hymn written by Elinor somebody. They were talking about the blackbird, and how the song, uplifts people, and what blackbirds meant to all different sorts of people. It just seemed a coincidence (she mumbled in a small voice), well, I thought so....
So I've got back and my other half has brewed about 8 gallons of beer, put up a clothes airer and was really nice to come back to. He's a bit of alright...

Since I've reached my computer limit on this site ( I guess I could delete previous photos) I can't put a photo of her, but this is for Dusky. She is 17 years old and has always lived in this house. It was unoccupied a lot, previous tenant being away muchly and was left cat food by a neighbour. We moved in in May, and Dusky had gone with her previous owner to another house a few miles away. One windy, dark, wet night she turned up, meowing, soaking wet, ribs sticking out through wet fur. We took her in. She was in a car accident once, almost put down, but survived and has a 'gammy' leg which gives her gip. So, she has made herself at her home, when not on a lap she has moved around the house finding different places to kip. Under the radiator in the bathroom, under the table in the study, in front of the Rayburn. At present she likes lying on a pile of papers for burning in a plastic shallow box. She is all grey with a blob of white for a bib. She is an old cat, moves slowly, and good company, it's nice to be greeted by a living being that is so pleased to see you on return from wherever. She sits on the steps outside, never going far. Her hunting days are over, her fur is falling out, I'm glad she has found a welcoming home with us. On a global consciousness scale, is anyone else going through a major change personally? Loving, kindness, compassion are needed more than ever............
Away singing for the weekend, look forward to contact next week my blogging chums.
I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT... THE DAY BEFORE DUSKY TURNED UP ON A RAINY WINDY NIGHT, I HAD BOUGHT CAT FOOD THE DAY BEFORE! I WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO A NEIGHBOUR. I SAW IT IN THE SUPERMARKET AND THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE HANDY!!! I wonder if she knew...

Really, it's true. That's why I am spending so much time on this blog site. We can't get a decent signal and apart from Frasier, ER, BBC good dramas, Futurama, repeats of the Fast Show, I would only want it for the documentaries. Sigh..

There's only 365 plus days before next christmas!
Knock knock
who's there?
Little old lady
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!

How many bloggers does it take to change a lightbulb?
At least 40, one for each of the "whats!"

Apologies, it's been a long day........

Had my 17 month old grandaughter over today. She always makes a beeline for the stones on the table next to my bed. She loves holding them, carrying them around. I tell her the names, 'turquiose' etc., and she seems to have developed a liking for them. I hope these times will help nurture her and give good memories of being at 'nanna's', playing with beautiful stones. I have stopped with the plastic disney/barbie stuff, it's so unatural. I think toddlers can play with natural things and still use their imagination. By the way it is her photo under my profile! Still haven't made it to the shops for pressies yet.. Enjoying reading others' posts, if we are ALL ONE, then you are all aspects of me............ I am over my limit, so no photos. I may have to go pro.......

.Driving back from the shops on auto pilot, down windy country lanes, my mind elsewhere, I realized I didn't know where I was! When I came to a T junction I was ok but I started to remember when....
I worked in a large forest about 15 years ago and my job was to mark out paths and paint arrows in different colours for the different tracks. Well, I wandered quite far one day and got totally lost! No one else within shouting distance, everywhere looked the same. Of course, no compass or the nounce to find the right direction back. It was such a new, strange feeling, to be totally lost in ones environment. At the back of my mind, I knew I would eventually find my way back, but it was still very disorientating. I managed to find the 'edge', lord knows how, and hitched a lift back to the entrance to the forest. What an adventure! Anyone else been in a similar situation?
The photo shows 2 flames in a fire mirroring each other, was it the wind that did that? Keep putting off shopping (seasonal shopping). I think I may have a phobia.........

For some reason this year I have had 2 requests for particular presents from partner and grandaughter. A cartoon dvd and a chainsaw. Though I don't think Eve is old enough to use one yet.....
These are my friends Sharon and Rhiannon who know how to make a mate feel good about themselves. Friends are precious........

Can we really make a difference to world poverty, pollution and war? Answers on a postage stamp please.....

.
Today was a day of clearing away dead leaves, unblocking drains. O that it could be done on a global scale. Dream and act on you visionaries for a better future for everyone, and everyone to come. Had porridge this morning, nice and warming. Not too inspired today, so here's a photo to remind us all of summer and flowers.

I found this piece of calcite on a beach, it has been broken in half but when I found it it was spherical. It was shining in the sun with a luminousity that drew me to it as if I had found treasure. The tiny panes of calcite shine like glass reflecting the light in a wonderous way. What a delightful find! Natures' treasure basket is free and deserves our thanks. So do you have a favourite stone?

Scarabella at Pontedawe festival 2003
so Brenda (middle) has just finished her chemo for leukemia and awaiting for a new hip op (crutches and wheelchair behind her).BUT she couldn't miss our gig at Pontedawe festival. She now has had her hip op and is dj at 2 clubs in town, and we are madly rehersing for next gig....

What are your ambitions? Some of mine
surfing whilst remaining upright
growing aubergines successfully
seeing the Gaudi stuff in Barcelona
experiencing world peace in my lifetime

what does this mean? I see it loads, lots of love? less 'orrible letters? leaky outside lav? lets organize lawsuits?

Just come home from work on a busy delivery suite. I have been looking after a woman in labour with her first baby. I had to go out of the room to interview someone and whilst I was out she delivered her baby! Another midwife came in, and all was fine. So there you go, babies won't wait for the right time. The photo shows friends relaxed chatting round an outside fire. My ideal evening is outside, playing music, talking, refreshments to hand, feeling the glow and warmth of the flames. It is an easy way to make an evening special. Thanks for the comments, it's a great way to connect with people without having to go out.

This is a photo of my friend Rhiannon, who used to live next door to me. Here she is in our garden creating her very own Glastonbury. href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/t/thesingingmidwife/img/from-nottm-024.jpg" target="_blank" title="Rhiannon loitering within tent">

Driving home from work I couldn't help but notice the moon, a sliver of crescent and a bright star (planet?) to the right of it. The sky was relatively clear and it brought to mind that the moon, however bright hasn't got any light, it's the sun shining on the moon that gives such radiance. Does anyone know what star or planet it is that is so bright tonight, you can't miss it. A good tip on how to know if the moon is waxing (getting full) or waning (getting less) is that if the moon is curved the same shape as an e it is waning.The logic behind this is if you spell waneing with an e then that's how you know, as waxing couldn't have an e in it. Well, it made me remember even if it is a load of nonsense...

what a lucky blogger I am to have someone to make me a homemade pizza with lots of delicious toppings whilst I blog and view away on my recently acquired hobby.PLUS salad with capers, peppers, olives, and cucumber. When he read my earlier blog about the joys of chopping wood he said "women are going to think err?!!" So, there must be other women who enjoy chopping rather than shopping.At last I got my photos done, I still dont know what a pingback or trackback is though...

If you chop the wood you get warm twice. I had a very enjoyable day chopping wood for kindling for the wood burner. I was thinking about how many people will never have this experience and I am so glad that I have. I like the way my hands hold the wood upright in place before I chop it down the middle. sometimes I lay it flat on the chopping log and split it. I don't split big pieces of wood, I am not a lumberjack, or jackess, (maybe jackass) but this is a satisfying thing to do plus you get some fresh air. I have chosen the low maintenence life style, if the electricity goes then we have lamps and candles, Rayburn or calor gas stove for cooking.When I get home at night I switch on the torch if there is no moonlight. I can see the stars so clearly through the tops of the trees the beauty and awsomeness of it takes my breath away, and I exhale with a wow!

The best place for me to create a song or poem is while I am driving. There's something about moving that kicks the creative spark into form. I've recently written a song based on the song of a blackbird, a particular jazzy phrase which I've used. The song is in regular 4/4 but I wasn't happy with the ending where the 5 voices (the acapella group I sing with)drop out one by one the blackbird phrase. Anyhoo, whilst driving I came up with the idea of changing the timing to 5/4 and groove away with 5 parts in that rhythmn. Wow! The 5/4 beat is as in "take 5" Dave Brubeck song. It's hypnotic and you want to sway with it rather than tap. For me it describes a cirle of 8, there is no start and end, just a loop. With poetry, I find that what I am trying to do is describe something, an event, a feeling, whatever, with as few words as possible to present a word picture. Finding the power in words to hit directly with no sidetracking but getting the idea into a nutshell. The singing midwife says "if you don't use the creative process to give away what is inside then it transforms into something else". Let it out, let it go, and what you may find could be something precious.

Last night went to a Nick Harper (son of Roy) gig in Swansea. What an amazing guitarist and singer. Plays the fastest guitar in the west.Slightly spoilt by one drunken person who wouldnt stop talking and heckling till the audience collectively said "shut up!" Nice guy too, stayed and signed copies of cd and chatted. Definitely recommended. Even felt inspired to concentrate on using percussive rythmn on the guitar myself. I had a hard shift at work, and enjoyed listening to the cd when I got home.