DETECTIVE AND GHOST STORY - A Celeste Tyalskye Mystery

A brief synopsis of the story so far:

Veteran P.I., Celeste Tyalskye has been hired by Mrs Hampton-Court to investigate mysterious sightings and soundings of a supernatural nature at her country house. Macy, Celeste's secretary has insisted on accompanying her as she claims to be psychic. Macy has also threatened to take her negligee with her.
Mrs Hampton-Court is divorced and has regular guests to stay, including her nephew Boris and his fiancee, Matilda.

Now read on..............

By the time Macy had dried her nails, fingers and toes, it was mid afternoon by the time we set off in my little two seater. Luckily it wasn't raining. We were due to stay for just the two nights. Macy had so much luggage she had one of her cases on her lap as the boot was full. I just took my overnight bag containing one change of clothes, washing gear, pyjamas, book and, my favourite game, KerPlunk.

We arrived at dusk after a windy drive in which Macy insisted on redoing her make-up. Putting on lipstick on a hairpin bend was not a good idea. Although she had rubbed most of it off, she still looked like an escapee from the circus. (A clown.)
We pulled up into a circular gravelled area in front of the mansion, with a fountain in the centre. It looked very grand, though the icecream van parked to the side of the house looked a bit out of place.
"That must be the nephew's van," I said, as the van had 'Boris's Ices' written on the side.
"Ooo, lovely! I'll have a ninety nine when I find him." Macy said this with a look of chocolatey greed on her face.

As the maid answered our ring I made a mental note to quiz her about her account of seeing a 'white shadow', one of the mysterious events that I was here to look into.

"So glad you came in time for evening tea" said Mrs Hampton-Court as she led us to a room the size of a small library.
"Mimsy! Another two places for tea."
We took off our jackets and settled down in comfortable looking chairs. There were two other people in the room. One, a youngish man wearing a white jacket with Boris's Ices written on the pocket. He would have been quite handsome except for the scar running down the middle of his face. It left him looking like he had two halves of two different people's faces as both halves were very unsymmetrical. It was hard not to stare.
The other person was a beautiful woman, probably in her 20's, dressed smartly, but I noticed her clothes were well worn, and had been repaired a few times.
"This is my nephew Boris and his fiancee Matilda" as this was said they both shook hands with myself first and then Macy.
"Can I trouble you for a quick ninty nine?" Macy said this to Boris with a bit of eyelash fluttering, her stock in trade seduction technique. It never fails - unless the man in question is blind.

As they left the room, Matilda gave a venemous look to Macy's departing back, then it was quickly hidden by a practiced smile.
As Mimsy came in with the tea things, I asked her if I could question her about what she might have seen.
"Of course madam. I didn't make it up, I definitely saw a white blurry thing in the dark hallway, it took off sharpish as I turned the corner."
"Did it look like a person," I asked, taking out my notebook and starting to jot things down.
"The odd thing was, it sort of glided down the hallway, as if on wheels, you know? Cos it was dark, it was hard to see, and it was right at the end, and I didn't have me glasses on."
She breathlessly gave her account, obviously still unnerved by her experience.
"How tall was it?" I asked.
"About the same size as, oh, say, Miss Matilda here."
With this, Matilda froze and looked most uncomfortable. I thanked her and told her she could now put down the tea tray and serve us. As she had shaken nervously giving her story the cups had fallen over and the milk had spilt. At least she didn't cry I thought.

Macy and Boris returned, with her licking a huge ice cream with a chocolate flake sticking up. We proceeded to chat and partake of the teacakes and drink tea. It could have been a vicar's tea party except for one thing. There was no vicar.

We were shown our rooms to rest and change for dinner in a couple of hours. Macy had 'The Blue Room.' It was done out in a pastel blue and she 'ooooed' and 'ahhhed' a fair bit over it. I left her and went to my room. It was called 'The Orange Room.' There was a four poster bed in the centre with a silk orange cover and with the sun setting, it looked as if the whole room was a sunset inside.
I dumped my bags and went to explore the old house. At the end of the corridor I went through an old door which led to another set of stairs. These were obviously the old servants' stairs and led up to those quarters at the top of the house. Looking through the old rooms at the top, I noticed one room looked as if someone had been using it recently. The hot cup of tea was a give away. Was this Mimsy's room? I must ask.

The house was like a maze, corridors leading to other corridors. I was glad I had brought a ball of string as I unwound it along where I walked and then followed it back again.

Dinner found us seated around a huge oak table with Mrs Hampton-Court at the head. I asked her if any servants used the rooms in the attic.
"Oh no, Mimsy has a room on the third floor, and the other staff have their quarters in the stable block."
I did not say about finding one of the attic rooms in use, this was a card I would keep up my jumper.

Macy had made a hit with Boris, he couldn't keep his eyes off her, well one of his eyes, as they looked in different directions. She was telling him about her psychic grandmother who used to go into a trance and talk in the voice of a Chinaman.
"His name was Chu in Lu, Gran said he would stay with me when she went, but I haven't heard hide nor hare out of him. Makes yer think though, dunnit? I could have a Chinaman in me!"
"What about a sceance then." Mrs Hampton-Court suggested this whilst dabbing her lips with the linen napkin.

The lights were dimmed and the table cleared. It was fortunate that we had finished eating.
"Mimsy, can you join us please?"
"Yes ma'am." She said this nervously taking a seat.
"Before you sit down find a glass for us to use, turn out the lights and light some candles."
I noticed that Mrs Hampton-Court didn't say please or thank you, but Mimsy didn't seem to mind, or was used to it.

As we placed our fingers on the top of the glass I looked around the table. There were six of us, including myself, there was Macy, Mimsy, Matilda, Mrs Hampton-Court and Boris.
"Is there anyone else who could be here? It's best if there is seven of us. It improves the numbers." Macy gave a winning smile, just where had all this confidence come from? She was usually intimidated by anyone high class in a social setting. I'd seen her at functions, like Detective of the Year, attended by Princess Michael of Kent, and she'd been speechless by her presence. Luckly I had a speech prepared as I'd been tipped off that I had won it for a case where I had uncovered a murderer, who happened to be my client.

Mrs Hampton-Court had called her Chauffeur, Maurice. He now sat down at the table. Tall and good looking, he had the swarthy looks of a gypsy violinist and the backside of a Flamenco dancer.

"Is there anybody there?" Mrs Hampton-Court asked in a nervous voice.
The glass jolted a fraction and a few gasps were heard.
"It wasn't me!"
"It wasn't me moving it either!"
"Please keep decorum," said Mrs Hampton-Court. So now she remembered to say please I thought.

The glass started to move in an erratic way. Some people had their fingers jerked off and it continued to move.
"We need one person to ask questions, will you do the honours please Macy."
Flipping cheek! I thought it a bit rich that my assistant was being asked to investigate, even if was the spirit world that needed investigating.
"Are you an unhappy spirit?" She asked in between chews on her gum.
The glass went still.
"Are you a happy spirit?" Macy asked this as the glass started to move again.
"It looks like we have a happy lodger with us," said Macy, pleased as punch to have got results. "Seems like it moves for yes and stays still for no, I'll ask another."
"Who are you?"
The glass moved again, and it was pointed out to Macy, by me, that this was not a yes or no question. The glass then started to move more wildly, and then went careering off the table onto the floor. Gasps were heard from around the table as people were astonished at what had just happened.
"Ying tong, ying tong, ting tong, tiddly yoooooo."
A strange voice was coming from Macy, and her eyes were rolling up in her head.
"Velly solly for song, but now you know I Chinese. I have message for lady of house from Spilit World."
We all looked at Macy, almost disbelieving that such an old man voice could come out of those vermillion glossed lips.
"Please to take out chewing gum, it very stlange for me to chew."
Boris leapt forward to take the offending gum from Macy's mouth. Matilda looked on in disgust.
"Please tell us if there is an unquiet presence in this house and what do they want," said Mrs Hampton-Court, her diamond necklace glittering in the candlelight.

"There no ghlost in this house, your nephew he tlick you, he want you dead of heart attack so he have your money and your house."

"No! You lie! You lying Chink!" Boris was on his feet going towards Macy as if to grab her. Maurice, the swarthy chauffeur easily held Boris back and sat him back down in his chair. Matilda smiled.

"Nephew he put on white shleet and go down dark collidor to look like ghlost. He moves things alound and make noise to think there is ghlost."

Macy's eyes started to roll back down and shaked her head.
"Before I go, tell this lady, I sollee but not like chewing gum. It taste like ectoplasm, please to not chew."
"But this is the first time you've appeared isn't it?" I said this as I was sure of it.
"First time anybody know about it. I been watching, but not talk before, needed lot of people energy to come thlough to talk. My name is Chu in Lu. Now I say goodbye. For now."

We stared as Macy came round, her cheeks grew redder and her eyes started to focus. She blinked a few times and turned to Boris, her eyes now flashing in anger.
"You pratt! You led me on with your ninty nine, and you were trying to get your hands on your aunt's assetts all the time."
"That's enough Macy!" I had to take control of the situation, being the professional, it needed defusing, sorting out and putting to bed.

I got Maurice to keep an eye on Boris while the police where called to come and turned to Mrs Hampton-Court to summarize what had happened.
"Your nephew knew you had a heart condition and he would inherit if you died so he played on that by trying to scare you with supernatural tomfoolery. He didn't deny it when Chu in Lu unmasked him in front of witnesses. Our job is done now, so I will leave when the police arrive."
Mrs Hampton-Court turned, not to me, but Macy and thanked her for all her help. She invited her to come and stay whenever she wanted and that she would never forget how Macy had helped her.

I took Matilda aside and asked her about using the attic room, as I was fairly sure it was her.
"Please don't give me away! I only use it to mend my clothes as I can't afford new ones. I also read Barbara Cartland novels up there, I daren't let anyone see me reading them."
I thanked her and assured her that her secret was safe with me.

I went upstairs to pack, turning to Macy as we made our way upstairs and asked her how she felt, after her first mediumistic experience.
"Well, I dunno really, it was like I was still there, but pushed in the background if you know what I mean."
I smiled and nodded. This was good news, I might endevour to get Mr Chu in Lu to come out more often now the ice was broken, so to speak.
"Mr Lu, can I talk to you when I want to?" I asked Macy, not knowing who would answer.
She bent her head, then brought it back up, with her eyes rolling upwards.
"Yes, when I want choose to now gate is open," the Chinaman answered.

The next day at the office I was completing my report and bill for Mrs Hampton-Court feeling pleased that it was concluded so quickly. I had told Macy that she would get a bonus for her help and asked if we could consult Mr Chu in Lu in future, if necessary. She was happy to oblige and delighted that she had taken her rightfull place as the medium in her large family.
The phone rang. I heard Macy's voice talking, and then she said to me.

"Posh blint on line one please to answer."

It's all HIS fault! After the visit of in-laws yesterday, pre-snooze, Mr H picked up Saturday's Independent paper and perused the Super Kudoku and asked for a pencil. I thought no more of it until glancing at it tonight I noticed he had FILLED IN a fair few clues. Now this Kudoku has not only boxes for 1-9, but also A-F to fill in, so it is a huge puzzle which I normally leave, and stick to the smaller, more manageable 1-9 ones.
I picked it up and found I could do a few more. Yes, that's right, it has taken me right away from finishing the Detective/Ghost story and grabbed my attention most of the evening.

TONIGHT'S MENU
Home made Lamb Curry with; leftover lamb from yesterday, onion, cauliflower, tomatoes, various exotic herbs and spices like Fenugreek and Tamarind
Basmati Rice
Tzatziki (yoghurt and cucumber and mint)
Dwarf Green Beans

Mr Avrilo is away in Cumbria looking for geology for a few days.

Just to say that I have been thinking about how this story concludes, and I haven't got time to do it now.

I will be back, later, when the owls are sitting on the branches of the trees hooting and the badgers are out sniffing around.

We had Mr A's parents over for lunch yesterday. His mother is one of those people who love doing things and helping out, so she digged some of the garden up and planted shrubs and flowers. I have never seen her sitting down reading or watching tv, but she will sit and talk. Her time is mostly used in helping people, from meals on wheels to visiting poorly neighbours, and no, she isn't religious. So, in praise of Mother-in-Law's, here's to you Mrs H!
I had better give a mention to Mr H, who schooled Mr Avrilo so well in gardening and being honest in all things.

We had:
Welsh Lamb
Roast Potatoes
Roast Parsnips
Dwarf Green Beans
Organic Carrots
Super gravy

Pud was Mrs H's Apple Crumble (own apples)
Walnut and Advocaat Ice Cream

They brought an apple tree (Russet) as a present for Mr A's graduation and birthday which was planted with due ceremony.

For now, I must away............

As I was filing away my latest case under 'C' for closed, I heard a familiar voice from the outer office.
"I've just answered the intercom to some posh bint who'll be coming in any mo. Ok?"

"Macy, macy," I said while raising my eyes heavenward and opening the adjoining door, "please get their names and don't call the female clients' bints, please." I emphasised the last please to let her know just how important it was to maintain an upmarket, professional appearance for the Agency. Sometimes I think she ignored my instructions just to wind me up.

As Macy answered the knock on the door I saw a lady, possibly in her 40's being let in. She had the look of 'old money' about her. The fox wrap over her shoulders and old tweeds that only the very rich could wear announced her accent before she spoke.

I came forward, held out my hand and said, "Celeste Tyalskye, proprietor of Frontline Investigation Bureau, pleased to meet you, Mrs ?"
"Mrs Hampton-Court, pleased to meet you Mrs Tyalskye."
"That's Miss Tyalskye, I never met a man I could trust yet."
This last sentence slipped out before I could run it past my facade for clients mode. She raised an eyebrow suggesting either she approved or she thought me a first rate idiot. She was hard to read.

I showed her into my office, indicating the chair facing the window while I sat behind my desk. I picked up a pen and fiddled with it as we small talked about the weather and global warming. I always like to give my clients time to come around in their own time in telling me why they need the services of a Detecive Agency.

She had divorced her husband and was living in an Elizabethan house in the village of Chopping Celery in the Cotswolds. She said it was a large house with only her and her maid living there though she often had guests and extended family to stay.
"Most often it is my nephew, Boris who usually comes for weekends, sometimes he brings his fiancee, Matilda," she said with her hands calmly placed in her lap. This woman was cool, calm, and probably collected a load of money from her divorce settlement.

The story unfolded in a very logical manner, she had obviously thought about it and worked out what she was going to say.
The crux of the problem was that she thought the house might have a ghost. Several times things had been moved around the house, which nobody admitted to moving. The maid said she had seen a 'white shadow' in a dark passage one night but couldn't identify what it might have been. Also there had been unaccountable noises at night, usually when there was a full moon. The feeling in the house had been strained and now everyone who came to stay was starting to feel affected by the oppressive uncertain nature of what was going on.

"As there were no ghost hunters in the Yellow Pages, I came to you, as an investigator of, I trust, experience and discretion," she said upon taking out her cheque book.
We settled the fees and I drew up the usual Contract.
"I should tell you that I have absolutely no experience in matters of the supernatural," I told her as I blew the ink dry on the cheque, "but I hope I shall be able to get to the bottom of it."
As I mentioned bottoms, Marcy swayed into the room asking if we would like some tea or coffee. She said she couldn't but help overhearing about the problem and she had had some experience with ghosts and would be willing to offer her services too.

Apparently, her grandmother was psychic and had Spirit Guides which she said she would leave to Macy.
"I often feel a presence near me at night when I'm in bed" she said, not without a glimmer of a smutty smirk which was an aside to me.
"If there is a ghost in your house Mrs Hampton-Court, I might be able to have some contact with it."
"Thank you Macy, I will discuss it with you later." I was annoyed at her for several reasons, like admitting to eavesdropping when I was with a client, being so bloody smug, and then acting so out of character by being helpful.

I got the address and directions and made an appointment to come and stay the night in two days time, which was also full moon.
Macy, unfortunately was free then also and said she would accompany me.
"I've got a new negligee, it'll be nice to give it an airing," she said, "it's baby pink, with thrills."
"Don't you mean frills?" I said curling my lip in distaste at the image.
"When I wear it, Ms T, believe me, it's a thrill for anyone who sees it."

By the end of the day I had finished my filing and taking notes on this new case. I had labelled this file 'Hampton-Court Ghost' and shivered to myself, feeling a premonition that this wasn't to be a straightforward job.

TO BE CONTINUED.......................

Saturday Night Dinner

Sausages
Mash
Gravy
Cauliflower
Cheese Sauce just for me

Walnut and Avocaat Ice Cream

Mr Avrilo has gone fishing. I texted him to see if he had caught any fish yet, and he said 'just frozen fingers.' Just as well I got some sausages in then.

Saw 'Welcome to Collinwood' on dvd last night. It was really funny. I actually laughed out loud, as there are some classic moments. George Clooney produced it and has a small part in it, although his name is up front as lead. It is about a bunch of losers who are petty thieves who have a chance at pulling a big job and making money. The gang's characters are really well thought out and acted, there are no 'superfluous' roles, everyone has a chance to shine. At times being slapstick with the visual humour, it really is very funny. Highly recommended!

So, it's BLOSCAR night! I expect those of you in with a good chance of winning are polishing up those shoes and dusting off the suits and dresses ready for your 15 minutes of fame. Good luck to all of you nominees, I'm looking forward to reading the acceptance speeches! No false modesty now, and I want to learn everybodies name who had any small part in your success, not forgetting that primary teacher who encouraged you to write about what you did on your holidays.

So, I shall make a start on the spuds and think about a short story to while away the time whilst waiting for the midnight hour.

Now I'm getting the hang of this! This is Mr A's side of the table from last night.

Hooray!!! Success at last in getting the right photo in the right place. This is the felafal, sheesh kebab etc meal from last night, and so Helly can see what a felafal looks like!

I am trying to move this photo to over there>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
to use on my profile instead of my trying to pass off myself as my grandaughter.

I have not decided about dinner yet. I shall continue to not make a decision until the last possible moment. We do have lots of vegetables in the house. So, can anyone make a guess as to what I might cook? Or even suggest a suitable menu with choice of cauliflower, spuds, onions, carrots, dwarf beans. Also have bacon, no eggs though.

As I am writing to put off making an 'official' phone call, the Detective Story will come later. I can't put it off any longer........

THE CASE OF THE MISSING HEIR

Luckily it was a slow day when I got the call from Mrs Major-Trump.

"Posh bint on line one!" Shrilled Macy through the open door of my office. She knew there was only one phone line and said it to try and wind me up.
"Ok, and please refer to potential clients by name please Macy". I said this in my 'trying to be nice' voice which came out as both gruff and high at the same time.

"Sensitive Private Eyes, Celeste Tialski speaking, how may I help you?" My voice had managed to get back to normal by the end of the sentence and I waited for her explanation with less than bated breath. Little did I know this would be the lull before the storm and that this case could be the break I was looking for.
"Oh Ms Tialski, my name is Mrs Major-Trump, Guinevere Major-Trump."
I interrupted her with, "that's an unusual name, Mrs Major-Trump."
"Not if you live in Camelot" she replied.

"I have recently learned that I have a step-son. My late husband did not tell me and I have just received a letter from this man purporting to be my only heir. I have made a will leaving all my money and estates to charity, having no other living family. He will be arriving tomorrow, could you be here as well?"

I arranged a time to be there. She lived in a well known stately home about one hour's drive away. She was obviously loaded and it seemed strange that this newly found member of the family should turn up now, especially after the recent article in the Hello magazine about her leaving all her money to charity.

I put on my Doris Day headscarf for the windy drive in my convertable little two seater, adding a touch more lipstick as I checked my image in the mirror. I would have put the top up in the car but the mechanism was faulty. I removed the sign saying 'please do not steal' from under the windscreenwiper and set off.
The Gods were on my side as it didn't rain and I arrived dry.

Mrs Major-Trump came down the main staircase as a maid, dressed all in black let me into the huge hallway. I noticed marble busts of philosophers lining the hall.
"That's a nice Kant", I remarked nodding to a nearby bust.
"Thank you, I got it in Paris," she said this as she fingered her necklace. So, I thought to myself, she doesn't know her Kant from her Jean Paul Satre.
I removed my headscarf as she brought me up to speed. We sipped Early Grey in delicate china cups. Her husband, the late Lord Major-Trump had died recently leaving a fortune, stately home and many assets. The alleged son, a Mr Tommy Cooper, had written saying that he was the 'love child' of Lord Major-Trump and a nightclub singer by the name of Roxy Va Voom. He had found letters written to his mother from Lord Major-Trump admitting to being the father of her only child and was coming to claim his birthright.

I got her to sign the usual contract for my fees and expenses. I was tempted to add another nought but my Quaker upbringing stayed my hand.
"I need to know any generic medical conditions that run in your family" I said as I sipped the Earl Grey from the saucer.
I made a list while we talked.

Minutes after the bell had been rung the maid came into the room announcing, "Mr Tommy Cooper, ma'am."
As soon as I took in his appearance, from his slicked back greasy thick black hair and pencil thin moustache, to his black patent pumps and wide shoulder padded pinstripe suit, I knew the game was up.

As he glanced around in obvious delight at all the trappings of wealth I checked the list I had made.
"Is that your real hair?" I asked with a wry smile.
"Yeah, it sure is babe!" He replied with a lopsided smirk.

"I'm afraid you have wasted everybody's time by coming here, please show Mr Cooper out," I nodded this last remark to the maid still hovering by the door.

"Why?"
"Why?"
They both said in unison.

I licked my lips, I was starting to enjoy this. I had him in my sights and I fired.

"The late Lord Major-Trump suffered from a generic medical condition called Aloepecia Generalis. It is passed through the male line, and at your age you should have shown some sign of it"
"Of what?" Mr Cooper had started to look uneasy now.

"Complete hair loss. Not even eyebrows. Because you apparently have hair, you are no apparent heir."

He exited stage left. At that stage I left. I put my headscarf back on as it started to rain.

LUNCH
Thai Chicken Soup

SUPPER
Sheesh Kebabs
Felafel
Potato Salad with fenugreek, pinenuts, cucumber, yoghurt and lemon
Cous Cous
Lettuce with olive oil and fresh lemon juice

So, not Viking at all, unless he emigrated.

We now have a door on the bathroom! Gone are the curtains and tuneless whistles when visitors are around! It is a frosted glass panelled door, made of Hemlock. Apparently it is a sort of Pine, not the herb that I immediately thought of that could only make a mouse's door. Well done Mr A. So handy with his tools.

As per usual all is nice and cosy here in the wooden house, Rayburn hot, woodburner has the cat about 10 inches away from it curled up, nose on paws.
After the Archers on Radio 4 comes Mark Lawson and 'Front Row.' Now, I usually find this a turning point in the day and say "O no! It's Front Row! We don't have a telly! I don't know why but when that programme is announced I think that I don't want that on, it's boring, let's watch some telly. Then I remember, we don't have a telly! So, at that point I have to busy myself, such a great impetus to do something to ward away the non-tv blues. Then the moment passes and I forget again about not having a telly and just get on with stuff. It's always that programme though that brings it back to me what I might be missing.
So, how was everyone's day? Well not everyone, just you regulars. I just want to say thanks for bothering to visit and leaving your little pawprints of a comment. It's always nice to read what you have to say and think to myself what a great bunch of bloggers you all are! Hooray, pat yourself on the back for bringing a bit more cheer into this reclusive forest dweller living in the back of beyond.

So now I must get the grub out of the oven - it's ready!
May pop back later for a Detective Drama, starring our own short sighted sleuth.

Quick and Easy
Chargrilled Vegetable Pizza
Salad a la moi

Yesterday saw me n Mr A plus his parents in St Davids Hall for the Graduation Ceremony. This is where hard working students get the Degrees they have worked so hard for. You've got your Diplomas, BsCs, Masters, and at the top is - ta da - Phd, Doctor of Philosophy. He did it on an aspect of Geology, Limestone particularly (Like a Limestone Cowboy), wrote a humungous 2 volume thesis and attended an oral exam. Why it's doctor of philosophy I don't know, because no one said, 'what do you think about the meaning of life' at all! It does mean he can put Dr in front of his name now!
Neil Kinnock is President of the University and shook Mr A's hand as he walked across the stage, I gave one of my very loud whistles which made everyone stop, and probably think 'who dares.......!!'
Me and his parents were of course very proud and cheered and clapped as well. They treated us to lunch at an Italian restaurant I had fish of the day, Hake. The waitress had beautiful hair that she could sit on in a pony tail with about 4 elastic bands round it at regular lengths.
We did not see Ms Church cavorting in the street, it was bloody freezing with a hard wind blowing. Mr A striding through the town with his red and purple long flowing gown on looked quite an amazing sight! He had to wear a mortar board on his head. Before I could stop myself I said 'you look like Tommy Cooper!' It has a tassel hanging down, like on a fez. Not what he wanted to hear before going on stage in front of hundreds of people! He looked bloody gorgeous really, but I can't keep telling him that or he'll get vain.
We have had a valuation on the house at last! It is reasonable, phew! The way house prices are going we thought it might be in the big numbers, but because it is wooden it is less than a stone house. Yippee!! Now, for a mortgage....
Had my youngest grandaughter over today, not seen her since before xmas so fences are mending...It was truely lovely to see her and she didn't winge once!

Thanks for all your comments of yesterday, I didn't turn on the computer as it was such a long day. Today was busy, you can tell by the menu, so here is a really, really, quick detective story. As you can see there is no conversation to slow it down.

REALLY REALLY SHORT DETECTIVE STORY

I was following this guy who, according to his unhappy wife, was having an affair with his secretary. I had followed him to a cafe and took a surreptitious seat at the next table.
A blowsy blonde came in and joined him. They chatted for a bit, not especially flirting with each other, so it looked pretty harmless and maybe the wife was wrong.
A young man came in and joined them at their table.
I ordered Soup of the Day. It was Tomato.
Blowsy blonde left. The two men sat there gazing into each other's eyes, not saying anything. They didn't need to.

His wife was right, only she'd got the wrong person........

Welsh Lamb Cutlets roasted in oven with onions and garlic
New potatoes
Fresh Dwarf Green Beans

Tomorrow is an early start as we are going on the train to Cardiff for Mr Avrilo's Graduation Ceremony for his PhD.

His lovely parents will be coming as well, they are treating us to a meal afterwards.

So, plenty of pix with him in mortar board and gown. Alas, he broke a tooth a couple of days ago up at the front and app. for dentist isn't until March! I think he looks cute, like a cheeky pirate, but I suspect his mouth will be shut for the snaps! He can't say Llanelli properly either with the gap.

So, the dinner is just about ready to serve. I don't remember if I mentioned that we always dress for dinner, so I had better go and get some clothes on..................

Vegetarian Tomato and Basil Sausages in:
Tomato, onion, celery sauce with Italian Herbs

Pasta

Tapas - Green Bellini peppers,
Red Pepperdew
Olives stuffed with feta cheese
Capers
Manzanilla Olives

LUNCH
Bread and Black Bomber Cheddar Cheese
Homemade Yellow Tomato Chutney
Pickled Onions
Lettuce

The lovely Alex came over to give Mr A a hand sawing logs and stacking them today, so he joined us for lunch and dinner.

SHORT DETECTIVE STORY

I was just putting the completed file away from my last case when Macy, my secretary/boss, came in. She has an annoying habit of coming in the room then knocking of the open door whilst standing beside it. What if I was snorting coke? Or picking my nose? Or worse, plucking my chin hairs?
"There's a bint here to see you." Macy said this whilst pulling a strand from her bubblegum out to about 14 inches away from her face and twirling it around her fingers.

"Macy, will you please call potential customers' client's please, they may hear you."
"Ok", she said curling the gum back into her mouth. "The bint's name's Mrs Smith."
She gave a lavicious wink to indicate this name was totally made up and tapped the side of her nose to emphasise that I was probably too thick to work this out for myself.

A woman carrying a black patent handbag came into the room. The most noticeable thing about her was the way she carried her handbag, as if she thought it would be snatched from her any moment. Otherwise she was nondescript.

"I want you to find my mobile phone" she said in a whining petulant voice.
I asked her when she had last used it and where she remembered seeing it last.
"If I knew that, I'd know where it is," she snapped, revealing teeth that had not been brushed, flossed, or even seen by a dentist for quite a while.

I took out my own mobile and asked her for her number. I punched in the figures giving her a neutral look. In my game I can't afford to show any prejudices against people, it pays me to keep them sweet.

"Ring! ring!"

Mrs Smith looked around the room before drawing her shifty gaze to her handbag. She undid the clasp and drew out a mobile phone that was ringing.

"Hello!" She said, holding it next to her ear, "Who's that!"

Vegetable Curry with:
Onion
Potato
Dwarf Beans
Parsnip
Celery
No Aubergine, Mr A is not a fan.
Indian Spices including Tamarind and Fenugreek

Dhaal (Continental Lentils)

Basmati Rice with Cardemom Seeds

Home Made Chapatis (just flour, water, drop of olive oil, salt and pepper)

Teatime saw another slice of Banana Cake polished off with relish. Well, not with actual relish, but er... joy?

Going to watch a Morse dvd in a bit. It was free with the Mirror, the only reason I bought that paper! Usually get the Independent, which is twice the price, but quadruple the quality.

Back with another thrilling installment of the Gastronomic Detective later............

Too full for ice cream!

Pork Casserole cooked in Red Wine (Shiraz)with
Organic Carrots
Dwarf Beans
Onion
Parsnip
Celery
Half a sweet Apple
Sweet Potato
Spices and Herbs from Home and Orient

We don't usually eat meat that regularly. It just seems like the past week or so it seems to be daily.

I suppose my lifestyle is very different from lots of you, living in rural Wales, nearest shop (no supermarkets) a mile away. It is a quiet life, regulars are the weekly coal delivery, the postman and rubbish men. Friends are invited usually for a meal, because it's a way to come and they are hungry by the time they get here! Everyone who has been loves it here, I can see them looking around wistfully, but doubt if it would suit many of them as it can be quite isolated.
The ideal situation for a writer. Ding! Hey, I could, you know. I've often thought about writing a book, or even short stories and start to think up a plot and characters.
Visualising the target audience firstly. So, a dyslexic, easily pleased, illogical and credulous readership is what I'm looking for.
Right, do I start with characters or plot? I suppose plot, then fit the people in around it. Detective stories are always good, but the plot has to be interesting and a surprise as to the murderer.
There has to be a gap in the market for yet another detective who is interesting, has foibles (like that word) and, most important, is believable.
So, of course, she's got to be female. Good at crosswords, enjoys Sudoko, is musical, has an encouraging but objective partner and cracks jokes. Hey! That's me! Here's a taster (off the top of me head.)

A DETECTIVE STORY. (The names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

The phone rang just as I was popping my hrt pills, I slugged them down quickly with water and reached for the remote control, noting that I should make an appointment to see my optician soon.
"Hello. Associated Information Detective Service, may I help you?"
As the phone continued to ring, I slammed down the remote and grabbed the ringing instrument.
"Hello. Associated Information Detective Service, may I help you?"
A breathless voice declared a person of nervous disposition.
"Please help me! I am in so much trouble and need someone experienced to sort it out."
"You may rest assured, I have been involved in many cases throughout my professional career." I didn't add that many were not successful.
"Our child has been kidnapped with our nanny, we were told not to involve the police or they would suffer. They have asked for $4500 in used notes to be paid in 2 days time."
"How old is your child?" I asked reaching for my pen and notebook.
"He is 21, and she is 27."
As alarm bells started to ring I put down the comb and ashtray and again reached for something to write on and with. There was something fishy about this. I could smell it. I made a mental note to put out the full rubbish bag.

"Can I ask if they seemed to get on well?" I asked, following my intuitive thoughts.
"Well, they did seem to be spending a lot of time in his room together. I thought she was teaching him how to start a web log."

"Look ma'am, I'll be Frank. I think they might have concocted this whole business to get some money to run away together. Can you check if any of their clothes have gone?"
"Well, she said slowly, I did notice that they managed to take suitcases and a few change of clothes with them. I did think it odd at the time, because they were snatched after they came out of the cinema. Surely they wouldn't be so heartless!"

I gave a big sigh. Some people never learnt that often their closest and dearest would con them out of their life savings with no more than an idle thought.
It's a tough, hard world, and this was the hardest part of my job, telling someone that they had been had.

"My fee is $80 a day plus expenses. If you give me your address I'll come over with the usual Contract that will need to be signed. The clock started from this phone call. I will present you with daily reports to keep you up to date."
"Oh thank you! How can I ever thank you!"
"It's all in the job description ma'am", I said as I sat, pen poised to write down her name and address."

I HAVE TO WRITE THIS IN CAPITALS AS THIS IS NOT THE STORY ANYMORE.
I think I may have made it a wee bit too short.................

Someone please comment as I have 666 comments on my stats page.
I know this is stupid, but I don't pretend to be a super cool person unaffected by things.
Just one and then it would be 667, which would make me feel better, un superstitious person that I am..............

A memory I have I thought to share.
When I was living in Ireland I used to cycle everywhere (no car). On visiting friends with my partner of the time we had to cycle home down a steep windy hill. We had no lights, intending to leave in daylight.
He went first. He just took off and sped off around the first of many corners.

I went really slowly, it was dark! I couldn't see!
I could hear him saying 'come on!'
I took off and trusted my instincts following the shape of the road. I must have had some light, although at the time it seemed really dark. I whizzed down that hill, I didn't crash. It was exhilarating!

Something I would never do again. In that moment I took my life in my hands and went with it, soaring down a dark bendy road feeling so alive, and scared.

That's a memory I treasure. Have you one where you acted out of character and pleased that you did so?

Battered Lobster Tails
Oven Chips
Petit Pois

Home made Bananana Cake with
Walnut and Advocaat Ice Cream

All this, and it's just for me! Mr A being away working. He is on a 2 day quad bike course. Some people would think that's a leisure activity rather than a course!
I have realised that I have not cruised this site much further than my friends list. I will amend that because I'm sure I am missing reading some great blogs.
A friend of mine who plays bass in several bands had 2 of her bass guitars pinched. One bass was a 5 string one and costly to replace. She is gutted, as would anyone be when strangers burglarise and take things that don't belong to them. Unfortunately the paper work was in the case that was stolen. People who steal should be made more aware of the awful effect their actions have on the victim, ie, made to pay back money for the amount they stole. That would stop it. apparently it is a series of 17 burgleries!
I bought a digital radio/cd player.
I plugged it in and turned it on.
There are no stations around here.

It's Wednesday, so it must be pub grub day.
Yes, we did have, again, Potato Wedges with Cheese n Chilli!
I can recommend it to the extent that if you fancy a day out in Swansea it would be worth a trip to this pub to eat there! No, I'm not getting sponsored.
It was delicious. With salad. $2.75.

Instead of singing we went to a jazz club to see a jazz salsa 7 piece band. They were excellent. 3 brass, piano, drums, congas, bass (5 string). We danced in a line sitting down on chairs. There were 4 of us and we followed Brenda's lead and did a sort of arm and leg synchronised jiving in time to the music.

Mr A in bed, tucked up cosy and warm sleeping.

Thanks to Paddy for organising the Bloscars. Congratulations to all of you who were nominated. A little bird told me that I may be in with a chance in the 'Menu of the Day' category........Thanks to all of you who voted for me.

I'm going to go for a visit in Blogland.
I won't do a list again. It went down like a lead balloon.

I deleted nearly all my photos, thinking I could put up some new ones, and I still can't! Booger!

It wasn't a card, it was a giant packet of Love Hearts, you know with little messages on them like, 'be mine', 'true love', 'trust me' also 'email me' talk about updating! Also a minature rose plant which I will put outside in the day then plant it later on. Kickflip suggested that it was time for Mr A to cook, which made me think that the wrong impression may have been made. That is, I am always in the kitchen and being in the housewife role. No way! It has to be swopped roles, although I must admit I won't do any chainsawing. I did take a chainsaw course once when I used to work in a forest but that was a long time ago. So, if I am working he will cook, but as I am off at present I am happy to fill my time with pleasant things.
Being honest, we do fall into certain roles which many couples do but I really enjoy it when we work together. It could be moving a load of wood, in the garden or building work. I've just re read this and think it could possibly be a tad boring! Sod it! It's Valentine's Day! Just this once, (ha! Once?) I shall be a bit maudlin, soppy, serious and twee.
We have a storm raging outside, windows are rattling a bit and I can hear the leaves rustling in the trees. It seems to have a personality, a bit obstreperous. The faster the wind, the higher the sound in the trees, it has just gone up a notch! It's easy to hear as there aren't any other sounds, apart from the occasional car.
I deleted all my photos from my blog to make space for new ones and then remembered I have wiped all the photos when Janice was reborn. I do have them on cd, so that is a mission for another day.
Here is another song what I wrote:

WALKING IN THE RAIN
Walking in the rain again with you.
I don't care if I get soaked through.
The warmth of your heart is in your smile,
ooo I want to stay here for a while.

Feeling like the first love,
I ever knew.
Original feelings come through.
Taking each moment,
as it comes along.
Ooo this singing in my heart is such a special song.

So hard to turn your love away,
ooo it's the good feelings that make me stay.
When I'm at home,
I look into the fire.
Visions and dreams guide me through.

Feeling like the first love,
I ever knew.
Original feelings come through.
Taking each moment,
as it comes along.
Ooo this singing in my heart is such a special song.
AH c. 1986

I wrote this just before we were married.

Starters:
Prawn Cocktail

Salt Marsh Lamb Chops
Baby New Potatoes
Sweet Potatoes
Fresh Spinach
Garlic Mushrooms sauteed in Lamb juices
Sweet Red Peppers

Morrisons Walnut and Advocaat Icecream
Selection of Cheeses:
Mature Stilton; Black Bomber Strong Cheddar, Somerset Goats Cheese; Y Fenni Welsh Cheese with mustard seeds

Coffee with Baileys for me
Jim Beam for him

It is one of those rare days when there is no post at all! Not even a B & Q leaflet! I didn't really expect a card, but hoped there might be.....although when Mr A gets in I know he'll have something in his pocket I'll be pleased to see..........

Strong dream last night. I woke myself up. I was trying to escape from somewhere (the details are mostly forgotten) and was aiming for this open doorway, though there was no door. I was bouncing around a bit and realised if I angled myself off the jamb then I could fly through it. I had to warn people of something, or give them a message. I could hardly talk, that is when I woke myself up by trying to sing "Power to the People", the John Lennon song. My voice was very low and weak, like I couldn't open my mouth properly, but I did manage to sing it!

So, the voting has ended, we are all waiting to hear the nominations of the 5 people in each catagory. I voted for Brad as most helpful blogger as, no doubt, he is the driving force behind Paddy's outstanding achievement in getting all this together. Whoops! I shouldn't have let on..
My Jessica Rabbit va va voom dress has been taken out of mothballs, not that I'm expecting anything, just to give support you know?

Snowdrop update:
They are still there. Glorious!

I have sent my tv licence in for a refund, as there is no reception here and it had 8 months of non tv left. I had rung them up about it and was sent a form to complete to be returned with photocopies of bills to prove I moved. Now, I opened a letter from the licence department sent a few days ago, (not opened till now, thinking it will be related stuff) only to find a red lettered threat! Yes, if I don't have a tv licence they will fine me $1000! (can't find pound sign). They will be sending someone around, with some long handled radar whatsit SOON! As I have just posted my licence back, it could be a sticky situation. Mind you, when they try to watch the tv and discover no reception I guess I am vindicated. Government departments ay?
A quick list:

FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO WENT TO SAME SCHOOL
Anjeclica Houston. We used to bunk off together and go for a coffee.
Hilary Benn. He was in a lower class (not now though eh?) so I didn't talk to him. Always smartly dressed I remember.

FAVOURITE MAGAZINE
Used to be MAD Mags till they stopped.
Sacred Hoop.

FAVOURITE MAGAZINE AS A CHILD
The Beano

Bit of an 'F' list. Which is probably the list I'm on for the Bloscars...........

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

The postman hasn't been yet. I expect my bank will be sending me a card, and the Water Board!
Spring is inserting herself through the birds and shoots of flowers around here. The birdsong seems a little more chirpier and the sun shines that much brighter.
Not having left the confines of the wooden house I will venture out and taste the air. Not before posting my own list. Mr G and Ms H lured me into their new blog based on filling in lists, which I succumbed to. Looking for the next list I discover they decided to stop the list thing! (Was it listing?)

AVRILO' LIST KNICKED FROM NO ONE ELSE

ENSCONCED ON THE SOFA, A FAVOURITE DVD SHOWING, WHAT IS YOUR CHOICE OF SNACK?
Pringles or poppy seed crackers with mature stilton and avacado dip.

WHAT BOOK WOULD YOU ADVISE A DEPRESSED FRIEND TO READ?
Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett, or Three men in a Boat.

IF YOU OPENED A PUB, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT?
The 12 Cornered Hat.

YOUR IDEAL HOLIDAY IS
Getting acquainted with the sun. A bit of interesting walking, swimming, reading, eating, snoozing, chatting, meeting friendly people.

WHERE WOULD YOU PLANT A TREE?
Outside Next in Carmarthen.

yOUR FAVOURITE ITEM OF CLOTHING?
Fake fur gilet, you know, waistcoat thingy. Ooo and my Jessica Rabbit red velvet vavoom dress.

WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER?
Well, it was worth a go............

WHAT PERSON FROM HISTORY WOULD YOU INVITE FOR DINNER AND WHY?
Escofier, famous chef, and ask him to cook!
Jesus. I would ask him what sort of things he made from wood to make a living.